Thursday, September 3, 2015

Let Go

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I let it go.
It’s like swimming against the current.
It exhausts you.
After a while, whoever you are,
you just have to let go,
and the river brings you home.

– Joanne Harris, Five Quarters of the Orange 

Sunday, August 30, 2015

She is gone...

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6 weeks after the death of my precious Mother, some thoughts. When someone you love dies, it's like a part of you dies as well, and you look at the person left and wonder who the hell you are. There's a rebuilding to be done. You are not the same and you never will be. I'm in that stage where I can go a whole day without thinking of Mum and then the loss hits and the pain is overwhelming, gut wrenching, and there's that split second where you know you can choose - to surrender, to open your heart, and let the pain overwhelm you, to wail, to thrash about in such sadness, yet powerless for there's no magic wand to bring her back. Other times, you choose to distract yourself; you know you will have to surrender to the pain soon but you need, yes 'need' to keep yourself together right now; you're weary; so you dive headlong into an activity. But of course, in the end, it's worse. The heaviness, the constricted throat, the moist eyes, stay then for hours, for days, until you can't hold it in anymore and you surrender. Yes there are others who'll always be there to comfort you - if you're capable of reaching out. Yes, there are a couple you know intuitively who are tired of your grief; your conversations, but doing their best nonetheless. But, in the main, humanity, gosh almighty it's amazed me. The natural world has always been easy for me to appreciate; people not so much. Yet, from the pain of loss, there is a this deep abiding connection to others and it's as if each person who's touched my life over the last couple of months, feels the loss with me, is truly there with me (there are exceptions for a couple of family members who are mentally ill and many families have these). Even people I don't know I feel differently towards now; we are all travellers on a path that's, yes, filled with much joy, but oh the sadness. Nobody is exempt. We are all in this together; walking each other home. I know that nothing ever stays the same; know it rationally; but the change is accelerated now. Sometimes I just want it to stop. But it won't.

Sunday, May 31, 2015

A little update

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Just a few random images I like. First is my latest Frida Kahlo photomontage (available here), and the other two photos are images I saw on Facebook...I don't have any references as they'd done the rounds on tumblr and I couldn't find the end of the trail! 
Today I'd like to curl up in that gypsy wagon and pretend everything in my life is okay. Mum is very ill with cancer; I spend most of my time with her these days. This is 'life' I know and mostly I can be grateful and 'in the moment' but the last couple of days she's been crying a lot. It breaks my heart. 

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Slide out the side....

Escape Route collage by Beth Hoeckel

Inside this new love, die. 
Your way begins on the other side. 
Become the sky. 


Take an axe to the prison wall. 
Walk out like someone suddenly born into color. 

Hand decorated map by Boy In A Bear Suit

Do it now. 
You're covered with thick clouds. 
Slide out the side. Die, 


and be quiet. Quietness is the surest sign 
that you've died. 
Your old life was a frantic running 
from silence.

The speechless full moon 
comes out now.

'Quiet' by Rumi

I wonder if I'll ever learn to review life choices regularly; not wait until painful times like physical or emotional illness give me no other choice but to review. Who knows?! 

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Doo See Doooing With French Knitting

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French Knitting Installation from New Zealand artist Mia Hamilton photo blogfrenchknittingskirtbyEmroce_zpsi1taeb9q.jpg

Above and below by Australian artist Emma Churchill of Emroce  photo blogfrenchknittingbeltfromemroce_zpscyeoourd.jpg  photo blogfrenchknittinginstructionsviaSewfun.wikispaces_zpsxj2cqmrx.jpg

Here’s a great idea from Inspiration Realisation – make your own extra chunky yarn using your French knitting! Think I'd need one of spools where you can just turn the handle...could be awhile otherwise.  photo blogfrenchknittingchunkyyarn_zps5hdybiov.jpg

I’ve been looking for extra chunky yarn and can tell you it’s difficult to source over here, and it’s expensive….so…now...a Giganto Rug! Look at those needles!

Or get one already made up in gorgeous wool from Lily and Peabody!  photo blogfrenchknittingrug_zps1o5zrsai.jpg

Everybody needs a little ditty to knit by and this is a classic.